Waiting to find out what Simon says (updated)

I’ll point out one more time that “Modern Family” is the funniest show on television, and I’ll wrestle anyone who disputes this indisputable fact.

If you missed last night’s episode and you treat DVR the way I treat splitting the atom ... or DVR ... that’s too bad. Another classic.

Anyway, I’m heading down to Bowie for today’s 11:05 a.m. game between the Baysox and the Harrisburg Senators. Alfredo Simon is pitching, so I figure it’s a good idea to check on him.

Simon will issue a statement regarding his legal issues in the Dominican Republic, but he’ll only take questions that focus on baseball-related topics. Don’t bother with, “So, how was your winter?”

I can’t wait to ask if he was happy with how the ball came out of his hand.

I’m hoping that we’ll have a better idea about the Orioles’ plans for him after today’s game. How many more starts will he make on this assignment, or whatever we’re calling it? Will the Orioles place him in their rotation when he’s deemed ready, or is he viewed as a long man in the bullpen? Is it 100 percent certain that he’s sticking with the club?

Simon’s fastball was hitting 94 mph during his last start in extended spring training. I’ll be checking the radar gun readings at Prince George’s Stadium, though you can never be too sure about the accuracy at any ballpark.

Meanwhile, the Orioles have a 2:10 p.m. game in Kansas City that concludes their road trip. I’ll pass along their lineup when I get it, and I’m sure Steve Melewski will be monitoring each inning while I’m driving back to Sykesville and ignoring the fact that it’s Cinco de Mayo. The work day doesn’t end in Bowie.

Update: I’m sitting in the press box at Prince George’s Stadium. I’m also reminded why I consider myself lucky that I normally avoid rush hour traffic.

Simon will wear No. 54. I know you’re curious.

The Baysox sold 1,400 tickets to local schools. They’re expecting close to 2,000 fans here today.

Also, first baseman Joe Mahoney hasn’t officially gone on the disabled list, but he was on crutches yesterday and is expected to do so within the next few days. The quad is bothering him again.

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