When I grow up, I want to be Dr. Lewis Yocum.
He's a renowned orthopedist, in case you didn't know.
Yocum also has become the personal physician of the Baltimore Orioles. He's the doctor to the scars - elbow, shoulders, etc.
In case you're scoring at home, Yocum has removed a bone spur from Jake Arrieta's elbow, inserted an anchor in Dan Klein's shoulder and examined Chris Davis' shoulder within the span of a week. He'll examine Jason Berken's sore right elbow this weekend.
Did he deliver Brad Bergesen's baby?
If Dylan Bundy's face breaks out, Yocum can probably get rid of his acne.
Berken is pitching with a tear in his labrum, but the pain he's experiencing is located in his elbow region.
This entire season is giving me a pain that's slightly lower.
Berken appears to be headed to the disabled list, perhaps to clear room for Zach Britton. He's mostly been a disappointment this season, going 1-2 with a 5.80 ERA and twice riding the shuttle to Triple-A Norfolk. He's allowed 56 hits and walked 17 in 40 1/3 innings.
And now he's hurt.
Davis is hurt, but he expects to come off the disabled list when he's eligible. No surgery at this point. He'll attempt to play with a torn labrum, just as Berken has pitched with one. Klein underwent surgery to repair his tear.
I guess the recovery time isn't as extensive for a position player, so Davis could change his mind later and still be ready for spring training.
I can see the logic in getting the procedure done now, but I also understand why Davis wants to avoid it. And from a fan's standpoint, it would be nice to watch him play every night over the last six weeks, but only if the injury doesn't hinder him. If it does, what's the point?
It wouldn't surprise me if Davis ends up having the surgery. Yocum will leave a candle burning in the window.
While Davis remains on the DL, the Orioles can take a long look at Josh Bell at third base. He made a terrific diving stop and throw in the third inning last night.
He bent at the waist after recording the out, and I wondered whether his left side was hurting again. If so, Yocum can probably fix it.
Tommy Hunter is starting tonight for the Orioles. He's 1-4 with an 8.87 ERA in six career appearances (five starts) against the Angels, with 23 runs (22 earned), 29 hits, nine walks and seven homers allowed in 22 1/3 innings.
Maybe Yocum can reduce the swelling in his ERA. (OK, I'm done.)
Torii Hunter is 3-for-13 against him, but two of the hits are home runs. Vernon Wells is 2-for-3 with a homer and three RBIs.
Paging Felix Pie, paging Felix Pie. Please pick up the white courtesy phone.