OK, I couldn't properly execute that joke. Let me try again later.
Jones lined a home run to left field in the bottom of the first inning, a rope strong enough to hold wet laundry. The ball cleared the fence in approximately two seconds and gave the Orioles a quick 1-0 lead over the Tigers.
(It takes Torii Hunter a little longer to stop holding a grudge, but he told reporters today that he forgives Bud Norris following last night's heated exchange. There will be no glass whooping).
Jones has five home runs this season to go with 21 RBIs.
Jones ran the count to 3-1 by taking three straight balls, the last a 78 mph slider. He reached down for a 91 mph fastball and almost took out the first row of seats in left.
Orioles manager Buck Showalter wisely stacked his lineup with right-handed hitters, the exceptions being Nick Markakis and Chris Davis. They're not sitting as long as they're healthy.
Left-handers are 2-for-26 against Smyly this season after Markakis and Davis struck out in the first. Right-handers were 19-for-72 (.264) before tonight.
Ubaldo Jimenez retired the Tigers in order on three ground balls in the first and brushed off a leadoff single by Victor Martinez in the second. He's thrown 33 pitches, 18 for strikes.