Or maybe I should have gone with "Willing and Able."
If only I had it to do over again.
Manager Dave Trembley is being cautious with reliever Will Ohman, which might seem strange if you consider that the left-hander is leading the AL with 23 appearances.
Ohman's thrown only 14 innings, which he's quick to point out whenever someone uses the word "fatigued."
"I'm not going to die," he said.
Ohman will take the ball at any time and in any situation. He just wants to pitch.
"I'm fine," he said. "They pay me to do a job. If he calls down, I throw."
Ohman, who hasn't allowed an earned run, wants to be viewed as more than just a situational lefty, but the role enables Trembley to use him more frequently. At least, that's the logical viewpoint.
"There is that to a degree, but once you warm up and go into a game, anywhere between one and 25 pitches is going to be relatively the same," Ohman said. "Whether I've pitched to one hitter or four, I'm going to have the same fatigue level because you've warmed up and you've amped up your body, you have adrenaline going and you're going to put forth maximum effort. I don't think there's really any difference. If there is, it's negligible."
Only once in his career has Ohman informed his manager that he couldn't pitch, and that was two years ago in Atlanta.
"I was sitting on, like, 70 appearances with the Braves," he said. "It was early September and we had just gotten about six guys in, and I said, 'If you could give me a day, I'd greatly appreciate it.' That's the only time I've asked."
Ohman would gladly take the ball in the ninth inning and close games, but he's not going to publicly campaign for the job.
"Any of that for me is boat-rocking. It's borderline insubordination," he said. "The manager uses me as he sees fit. That's my job. Do I feel I've done OK? Yeah. But it's not my place to say, 'This is where I should be.'
"They brought me in, and it was well-stated, that they wanted me to be the lefty specialist. That's what I've been my whole career. I've had some success against right-handers. I don't necessarily feel it's all I can do, but I'm not going to lobby for it. It is what it is."
Ohman loves the Museum of Natural History in D.C., and it inspired him to quiz reporters at his locker before today's game.
Name the three defining characteristics of mammals.
I'll provide the answer in my next entry. I'm trusting you not to cheat.