LeBron will stay in Cleveland

I'm not messin' this time. I spoke with a well placed, highly placed source today, and he assures me LeBron will stay in the dump we all know as Cleveland.

He can stay and watch his horrible baseball and football teams, battle the dreary, grey, frigid, snowy winters. He can stay landlocked and go visit the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame.

I don't know why he would ever want to leave Cleveland for waterfront property and an average temperature of 78 degrees. I don't know why he would want to play with two All-Stars and win four rings. Makes all the sense in the world to stay.

Again, I can't reveal the source, but trust me, it's iron clad. The King will announce he is staying.